Some of you may have noticed that we haven’t had many posts this week. Mama (who is typically the main star of our stories) has been in the hospital dealing with pacemaker difficulties. It’s been a long hard week, and for the first few days, Mama didn’t really talk much due to pain/pain meds that made her sleepy. But now that she is doing better, there is one small problem. She has been put on a cardiac diet, and it is not something that she is pleased with. The food that they are giving her is lackluster on a good day. It involves her having no salt, butter, or flavor in general. Needless to say, the dietary element of her stay has not gone well.
First thing when she came out of her morphine stupor, she yelled at my brother that she wanted a hamburger. He promptly told her that he didn’t think that was on her cardiac menu. She then in turn replied, “TO HELL WITH THAT! I WANT ONE!” Now you have to understand at this stage of her illness she hadn’t really consumed much food in the past several days, and was now starving. Well he called me and asked if i would get her something. I returned with a turkey sandwich and a diet Sprite. Let us say that the red carpet was not rolled out for me when this happened. However, being so hungry, she grudgingly took the sandwich and ate it, glad to be eating something besides beef broth or steamed broccoli.
Then this morning, as I was sleeping on the cot in her room, I heard her discussing with somebody over the phone the contents of her breakfast tray. She claimed it was eggs with some sort of “pink crap” in it. After she was done with the tray, she told my niece Whittney that she needed to find her something to eat that “starts with hamburger and ends in french fry”. Then later in the day when my niece was helping her to select breakfast tomorrow she somehow thought the selection for “egg sub” would have been a large sandwich with eggs, and I had to explain to her that it stood for egg substitute. Clearly the food fairy was not going to be dropping off a grand slam breakfast for her any time soon.
So later in the evening, she got her dinner tray. She proceeded to tell us about her “scrumptious” (feel the sarcasm) meal that they had served her. It was allegedly vegetable lasagna, zucchini, and garlic bread. The look she shot my niece when Whittney presented her with it could literally have killed somebody. Thank goodness we are already in a hospital in case one of her venomous glances stops us dead. She pushed a little bit of the lasagna around, and closed the box and said, “well Joy maybe around 8 or so you can run and get us a hamburger.” Clearly she has intentions of veering away from the cardiac diet. I suggested that I bring her some sushi since it’s delicious and low fat. She told me that she had read somewhere that sushi kills people, and my niece told her that Japanese people eat it all the time and it doesn’t kill them. Mama’s response to this? “Well how do we know that, it’s not like they send us their obituaries!” Apparently the burgers and fries that we KNOW to be deadly are safer in her mind than lean fish wrapped in rice and seaweed. It’s good to know she’s getting back to her normal self.
Saturday, October 17th, 2009, 6:24 pm | 
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