Red Velvet Wisdom

Today is my anniversary.   Many years ago we had a small ceremony in my hometown church that is a few miles down a winding road on a hill in the backwoods of Arkansas. I didn’t want anything big, not even a cake.   Mother surprised us with two cakes, a small wedding cake and a German Chocolate for the groom’s cake.   We left the church amid a hail of birdseed, which all landed in my beehive hairdo, and headed to Jefferson, Texas.    I spent an hour in our quaint little bed and breakfast pulling bobby pins and birdseed out of my hair, and he set the room on fire trying to light the fireplace and set out a cheese and sparkling juice tray.

Today on our anniversary, I wanted to share one of his most popular recipes.   Yes, I married a man who is a better cook than me.   We have much different tastes in what we like, and often discuss this loudly.   He likes meat, potatoes, and beans.  He doesn’t like pasta, Mexican, or baked chicken.   He has a very sensitive palate and is the kind of person who can tell when you have used a different brand of spice than the one you normally use in a dish.  In the recipe listed below, he actually got mad at me for buying the “wrong” brand of cracker.  (to each his own, I couldn’t tell a bit of difference.)  When we first married I cooked a lot of Ranch Style Beans.   I remember asking one evening what he wanted for supper and he said, “Anything but Ranch Style Beans.”   I’ve accidentally sent a whole carton of Cool-Whip in his lunch, thinking it was leftovers in an old bowl. I’m thankful that he’s even tempered and forgiving.

Being the baby of the family, he can be a little spoiled at times.    He says he’s the black sheep of the family, but he truly is a nice person.   He’s giving and generous, and kind.   He makes me look bad if I’m not careful!   He loves to hunt, fish, and is active in church. Not to leave him sounding like a saint….he can mock me or make fun of people from Arkansas until I can’t take it anymore.   Then he laughs and does it again.  And woe be the person who DARES to breathe a negative word about him in front of our mother.  Poor Joy will never find a husband that Mother will be so in love with.

His latest recipe lately is a hit anywhere we take it.   He calls them Foot Crackers because people used to mix them up and put them in a big jar and then roll them back and forth with their feet while they sat in their rocking chairs.

• 1 box of Saltine Cracker
• 1 C. Canola
• 1 pkg dry ranch dip
• 1 heaping tsp red pepper flakes
• 1 tsp dill (optional)

Mix everything well but the crackers. Then add one sleeve at a time, coating each cracker well.

Paul Bunyan cooks.

Lay the crackers on paper towel to dry. Pat them dry and store in an airtight container.

So he’s set things on fire, bid against me at auctions, and once refused to answer my page at Wal-Mart when I couldn’t find him.  We find the humor in these things and have had many more amazing adventures. My family still considers him a saint, he’s a great cook, and a good person in general.  What is he most proud of in his life?  The Fab Four.

Monday, January 18th, 2010, 12:14 am   |   Out of the frying pan  |  RSS feed Comments and pings are currently closed.