Red Velvet Wisdom

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DISCLAIMER—-we are (obviously) not medical professionals, all of the following advice is totally just stuff that we have heard from around the way.  Also, if you are prone to addiction of any kind, visit one of our other pages with lovely recipes.

Last week Joy was diagnosed with a case of raging ringworm.

Wanting a fast and permanent cure, we searched the internet.   Some of the cures we found reminded me of home remedies that we have used in our family over the years.

Ringworm

My favorite ringworm cure?   Find a girl with black hair and take her shoe off.   Have her rub her big toe on your ringworm.   I don’t know why, but Joy refused to try this one.   Joy’s friend Bev had a remedy that she used to use on her pets, where you mix sulfur and bacon grease.  Again, for reasons unknown, Joy declined to use this.

Stomach ache

Vodka mixed with Sprite is the cure my parents have used for forty years. When our brother was a baby he was hospitalized with serious stomach issues.  The doctors mixed Sprite and vodka together and put it in his bottle. Something about the potatoes and starch fighting the stomach acid.   Now, the idea of giving a baby vodka is about as far out there as you can get, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and so he was given vodka.  It should be noted here that our parents don’t drink, and Dad actually refers to any establishment that serves alcohol as a “beer joint.”

Whiskey

I have always heard that the difference between Baptist and Methodist is that a Methodist will speak to you when they run into you in the liquor store.   Of course, we don’t shop for alcohol to become drunk or entertained, but for medicinal purposes.   My MIL says it was for cough syrup that they gave it with a peppermint.   She isn’t sure if she gave it to the kids, but my husband says she did.  Mother had whiskey around for toothaches, and I have some memory of her mixing it with honey and lemon juice and heating it up for a hot toddy.  This was of course only to be used as a medicinal cure for a cough and sh0uld in no way confused with a delicious cocktail.

Castor Oil

I think this was used for everything.  Mother said they took it for a headache, stomach ache, fever, and anything else that smarted a little. I know it tastes rancid.

Dr. Pepper/Milk of Magnesia

Drink a capful or spoonful of Milk of Magnesia, then follow with a room temperature Dr. Pepper for constipation.   It works soon.  And by it works soon, I mean don’t make any plans immediately after taking it.  Trust me on this one.

Honey/Crushed Red Pepper

For a sore throat, mix finely crushed red pepper with honey.  Not too much pepper, about 1 tsp. per cup of honey.  Take a spoon at a time.   It really isn’t bad and does work.   Joy claims that it did nothing but burn her further, but upon further observation it was probably because she used the big non-crushed flakes.  She says it’s my fault for not being more specific.   (also has the side benefit of having a laxative effect as well at times)

Please feel free to share some more remedies with us, because clearly we are game to try just about anything.  Well except for Joy, she lacks a sense of adventure. (unlike her hairdresser!)

Thursday, January 21st, 2010, 6:59 am   |   Uncategorized  |  RSS feed Comments and pings are currently closed.