Red Velvet Wisdom

Yesterday I was in the waiting room of a local clinic when I overheard two elderly ladies talking. They were discussing the state of the world today and how the problems stem with children being overindulged. They know of children who are given an abundance of food, toys, clothes, and attention. The only things kids don’t have today is chores.

They spoke of their own mothers and how each one could make one chicken (caught and killed by her own hands) last for several meals. Nothing went to waste in those days and if you didn’t like it you didn’t eat. Clothes were made by hand and scraps of materials made warm quilts or mended clothes.

One said that her mother never raised her hand to spank them, but if she gave you “the look” then you better stop whatever it was you were doing.  The other lady seconded this discipline method. She said that they had no plastic toys but instead had to entertain themselves with whatever they had. Children in their family today throw tantrums right in the store if they don’t get the toy they want. Where has society went wrong?

My mother in law wrote her memories of growing up in several spiral notebooks and we printed them, along with pictures, several years ago. It is a treasure. She tells of pretty much the same thing. The cover picture is her Jr./Sr. Banquet dress made from curtain material with satin under it. She also tells of working picking tomatoes and peas for 75 cents a day, making sure we know that it isn’t 8 hours but sun up til sun down.

My own mother’s favorite memories are from when she went to her grandparents’ home. They were poor and lived a simple life. She tells of the flour sack underwear and buttermilk pies.

So, how did everything go to hell in a handbasket? Was it the generation that said, “We don’t want our kids to have to work their fingers to the bone like we did.” With each passing decade we find life to be easier. My parents worked hard and sacrificed for us so we could have more than they had as children.

I know that myself, I want my kids to have everything they want but to be humble and understand how difficult it is to come by the money to buy them things. I want them to understand them material possessions don’t make them happy, but I want them to not feel inferior to their peers because I’m proving a point.

I’ll be honest. I don’t want my kids to have to skin a chicken to eat supper. I’m glad they never had to work for 14 hours a day during the summer. I’m sorry that people had to do that. I want them to have a healthy balance of being a child and having fun with being given the tools to survive as an adult. It is a process and I hope that I am doing something right.

Thoughts?

We call this Linda: The Early Years.

It was before four children wore her nerves to a mighty frazzle. Before she discovered that grandkids (especially hers) were perfect. Before she bottle fed dozens of baby calves and her first great-grandchild.

Yes, this was before her special trips to McDonald’s and her obsession with all things Mc. Before her station wagons and years as PTA president. Before she planned her kids weddings, her parents’ funerals, and loved and lost the best dog ever.

Before her altercations with K-Mart, her cookbook collection and her afro years.

Happy Birthday Mom.

Love,

Your Favorite Child.

(You know which one)