Red Velvet Wisdom

I thought I had the picture in my mind that I wanted to use for the best shot of 2011. But then I remembered this. The focus is on the face.

Ok let me start out by saying that anorexia is NOT funny.  10% of all patients with it will die as a result of it, and it’s very serious. If you know somebody that you think may have it, get them to a doctor ASAP even if it’s against their will.  Ok now, that I have that out of the way, let me relate to you a funny story in which my mother vented her fears that I may in fact, be on the road to becoming anorexic.

Within the last two years, I have very slowly lost about 50 pounds.  I’m doing anything drastic, just trying to control my portions, get a little cardio when I can, and not punish myself or  feel guilty if I eat a decent tasting meal now and then.  So it hasn’t been a “she was fat then BAM she’s thin” process.  It’s really only been recently that people are like wow, you seem thinner. 

Mom saw me a couple of months ago when she was in the hospital.  I was the exact same weight I am now.  I’ve hit a plateau and have stayed stable, and honestly I’m not ready to start eating lettuce and working out like a maniac obsessive lesbian trainer  to get past it.  (I’m looking at you over there Jillian Micheals, I see you judging me for eating a Dorito every now and then) I’m going to blame all the drugs she was on at the hospital for the fact that somehow, she doesn’t remember me being the EXACT same size.  My only explanation is that even though the pounds were gone, maybe I was still puffy and didn’t look thinner, and now the fat cells have finally shrunk to where I don’t look like quite as cow-ish.  Hey I was way fat, I can say cow-ish.

So flash forward to Christmas day, and remember I am the same size.  And let me also take this opportunity to tell that according to the BMI chart, I’m still 30 lbs overweight.  3-0.  And 30 lbs will just get me to the VERY top of the healthy range.  Hell I did a little jig at being out of the obese range.  Not too big of a jig though being that I am still overweight and don’t want to hurt myself.  Jigging makes me out of breath, which is like kryptonite to a fatty.

We spend all day with mom, it goes great, nothing of note happens.  Then later in the evening, Dena calls mom on speakerphone.  Dena neglects to tell mom that she is on speakerphone, and the call goes something like this:

Dena:  Hey what are you doing?

Mom:  Nothing.  *dramatic sigh* Joy looks terrible.

Dena:  Mom……..

Mom:  She does Dena.  She looks so thin and pale, I’m scared she’s going to become anorexic or something.

Dena:  Mom………..

Mom:  I’m just worried sick about her…

Dena:  Mom, you’re on speakerphone and she can hear every word you’re saying.

Mom: *pause*  well you DO look awful Joy.

And so I went on to explain that I have more weight to lose, and she argued that I’m just insane and she doesn’t believe in any chart on the wall at the doctor’s office because, “who knows who even WROTE THAT JOY!!!”  I pointed out to Dena that I was way thinner than this in high school and Mom never said a word about it.  Dena replied, “yeah she thought you looked sick then too.”  Good to know.  But rest assured I am in no way going to ever be too thin, and just to make sure I made cinnamon roll pancakes again this weekend. 

Have we done enough end-of-the-year posts? No. One more.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My Wish – Rascal Flatts

…and still are on this day after Christmas.

Christmas was fantastic. We had a Christmas Eve dinner of chicken and spaghetti, salad and green bean casserole, followed by New York Cheesecake.

Christmas morning was our usual breakfast of breakfast casserole, cinnamon rolls, fruit and non alcoholic mimosas.

We just add sparkling grape juice to orange juice.

Then we dive into the gifts. I’ll be honest, by the time Christmas gets here I can’t remember some of the things I have under the tree. It always works out though.

Then we  laid around and watched Christmas movies while the chicken and dressing cooked in the crock pot and the ham baked in the oven in anticipation of the afternoon crowd.

Finally, everyone starting trickling in at about the time all the food was ready. We ate and then pulled out the desserts. We had too many. There was leftover cheesecake, sweet potato pie, raisin pie, sugar free lemon pie, buckeyes, and an Elvis cake that I got off Pinterest.

We also dressed the dogs like Santa.

……………………………………..

And put them in stockings.

All in all, a very good day and good weekend. Now to dismantle the house and get all of this back in the attic. The only negative to the whole weekend is that I seem to have a cracked tooth. That doesn’t pair well with my fear of the dentist but we shall see how it all plays out today.