Bride and groom holding his hands

Let’s get married in the morning

Sadly, I’m not in love with anyone at the moment but where matters of the heart are concerned, I believe that I’m a pragmatic woman.

I happen to believe that marriage is a magnificent institution for both men and women. I’m a believer and I pray as often as I can. These days, I pray a lot, incoherently, mind you; sometimes I just don’t know when to stop. I do know that it may be better to stay strong and silent, retain perspective and keep an open mind during difficult times.

I’m alone at the moment but far from being regarded as a stereotypical old spinster with five or six cats to keep her company. But I happen to believe that I function better when I am with someone, even if it is just a best friend, male or female. I speak from experience (but without the wisdom that comes with age). During desperate days, there’s not a day that goes by when I’m not thinking about a love interest from the past. I’m also thinking of dear friends who have drifted from me or departed. But on better days, I do quite alright.

I’ve become used to my own company (not by choice, mind you) and know what it takes to get through the day. There’s a legendary folk song from the past that speaks about ‘whatever gets you through the night’. I don’t have the lyrics to hand, but I get the impression that the message is directed to kindred spirits, lonely hearts and even broken hearts. It is up to the receiver to decide. I, for one, seem to fall in love quite easily. It does not matter at what level. Have I been passionately in love before?

Probably; once or twice in my short life. Did I ever meet my one and only soul mate? This is a difficult question to answer. I was quite young and idealistic at the time, so thought I had. Now that I am several years older, not necessarily wiser, I’m still an idealistic woman. The man died tragically a couple of years ago and now, in hindsight, I don’t believe that he was part of my destiny. It would be nice to fall in love again. My most recent break up was sad because it had more to do with money matters than anything else.

Also, I was slow in committing myself to him. And just as he was ready to settle down and start a family, hard times came to him. Anyway, let’s end things on a high note. Let me tell you why I think it’s a good idea to seek out a partner for life and get married rather than seeing life through alone. Of course, there must be love to begin with. The challenge is always going to be over how deep and committed that love is or grows. Men and women alike are faced with material and physical temptations as well as dealing with the most heartfelt and intimate thoughts and emotions.

But there’s nothing wrong with friendship which has in mind similar aspirations and beliefs, whether they be material, cultural, religious or spiritual. Usually, the children are a common cementing base from which to build a strong relationship from. Devotion and respect for family as a whole, particularly the mothers and fathers, is a strong character builder. In a marriage there is always the possibility of living a structured and orderly life. Male or female, when one is alone, it is not always easy to deal with crises when they occur.

Marriage does not necessarily mean that you will be entrapped or have no breathing space in terms of seeking out your proverbial ‘me time’. Finally, I happen to believe that an unconventional marriage has greater possibilities than the traditional arrangements which have its roots in indoctrination rather than faith. The unconventional marriage is not influenced by society or family counsel. It is deep-rooted and knowledgeable. It does always ask questions of each other and our surroundings, but the maturity of it all sees to it that conflicts and matters of difference are resolved more quickly.

Now, I’ve gone and spoken my mind, but my heart tells me that when it rains, it’s a great day to get married in the morning.