Posts tagged ‘Mom said so.’

December 5th, 2009

Things Our Parents Forbid, No Matter How Old We Are

by Dena

Things we aren’t allowed to do, no matter how old we get.

1) Travel

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My parents have some aversion to leaving the county in which they live. In fact, they really don’t go much outside a 30 mile radius. I live about 50 miles away and that is considered a trip. They take about 2 weeks to plan and execute a visit to my house and only stay about an hour.  About ten years ago my mother had a major heart surgery in Houston. I remember my brother saying that it was a shame she would go through all that for the surgery, only to die in an accident with Dad trying to drive her home in Houston traffic. Somehow, they made it.

2) Alcohol

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My parents never drank. They didn’t like it and you were going to hell if you did it. Unless it was for medicinal purposes, such as the only way to cure anything stomach related is vodka. It doesn’t count. I was very happy to hear a coworker of mine, who is older than me, explaining to her mother why she had beer for beer bread. She borrowed a can, of course. I did too. Really.

3) Cursing

You don’t do it. You don’t watch TV or Movies that have it in there. Only mother is allowed to curse and it is at her discretion. She says she is driven to it by her family.

4)  Tell people that Mom is diabetic.

(oops)

5) Don’t get on the internet.

Perverts are lurking on there, wanting naked pictures and will come to your house. Never put a picture or your name. The only reason anyone would want to go online is to check the weather, forward emails about the president, or check the cattle prices. Anything else is asking for trouble.

038Right, Joy?